Pasangan `kahwin lari' mesti daftar semula

Berita Harian - Bicara kalbu: Pasangan 'kahwin lari' mesti daftar semula

SAYA sudah beristeri, namun jatuh cinta buat kali kedua. Keinginan untuk 'kahwin lari' semakin kuat kerana tidak mendapat restu isteri pertama. Apakah pandangan puan mengenai isu kahwin lari? Bagaimana pula hak isteri dan anak daripada pernikahan ini?
Suami Teringin,
Johor.

Jawapan :

Secara umumnya kahwin sorok-sorok atau lari tidak boleh dilihat secara terpisah daripada isu lain. Ia hanyalah sebahagian daripada gejala penyakit sosial yang membarah dalam masyarakat pada hari ini.

Menurut Islam, institusi keluarga mesti dibina atas tapak akidah kukuh, disusun mengikut acuan syariah yang lengkap dan dihias akhlak Islam yang unggul dan murni.

Oleh itu, dari sudut moral dan tanggapan masyarakat kahwin sorok-sorok dan kahwin lari menjatuhkan maruah diri dan keluarga. Ia akan menjadi sejarah hitam, merosakkan nama, reputasi dan menjadi sebutan hingga ke anak cucu. Sebaiknya, elakkan daripada melakukannya. Apabila terjadi perkahwinan yang sah, sama ada secara sembunyi atau terang-terang, hak dan tanggungjawab tidak boleh dielakkan. Jika ditakdirkan mendapat anak, maka haknya sama dengan anak isteri pertama dalam serba serbinya.

Bagi pernikahan sorok-sorok, mesti disabitkan sah oleh Mahkamah Syariah (didaftarkan semula menurut proses biasa dengan membayar denda).

Isteri bagi pasangan yang berkahwin lari atau sembunyi mempunyai hak yang sama dengan isteri pertama. Ada lapan hak isteri mesti ditunaikan dalam tempoh perkahwinan iaitu:

l) Mahar.

Firman Allah yang bermaksud: "Dan berikanlah kepada perempuan itu mas kahwin mereka sebagai pemberian yang wajib. Kemudian jika mereka dengan suka hatinya memberikan kepada kamu sebahagian daripada mas kahwinnya maka makanlah (gunakanlah) pemberian (yang halal) itu sebagai nikmat yang lazat, lagi baik kesudahannya." (Surah an-Nisa', ayat 4)

Ketika Khalifah Umar menganjurkan adanya had mas kahwin, ada seorang wanita tua yang menyanggah. Dan Umar bersetuju dengan pendapat wanita itu, dengan berkata: "Wanita itulah yang benar, Umar yang salah."

Seksyen 21 (1) Akta Undang-Undang Keluarga Islam (Wilayah Persekutuan) 1984 memperuntukkan: Mas kahwin hendaklah biasanya dibayar oleh pihak lelaki atau wakilnya kepada pihak perempuan atau wakilnya di hadapan orang yang mengakadnikahkan perkahwinan itu dan sekurang-kurangnya dua orang saksi lain.

Seksyen 57 Akta Undang-Undang Keluarga Islam (Wilayah Persekutuan) 1984 memperuntukkan:

Tiada apa juga yang terkandung dalam akta ini boleh menyentuh apa-apa hak yang mungkin ada pada seseorang isteri di bawah hukum syarak terhadap mas kahwinnya dan pemberian kepadanya atau apa-apa bahagian daripadanya apabila perkahwinannya dibubarkan.

2) Nafkah.

Firman Allah yang bermaksud: "Hendaklah orang yang mampu memberikan nafkah mengikut kemampuannya. Barang siapa yang sempit (sedikit)rezekinya, hendaklah memberi nafkah menurut yang diberikan Allah kepadanya.

Allah tidak memberati diri seseorang, melainkan menurut yang diberikan Allah kepadanya. Nanti Allah mengadakan kemudahan sesudah kesukaran." (Surah at-Talak, ayat 7)

Seksyen 59 Akta Undang-Undang Keluarga Islam (Wilayah Persekutuan) 1984 memperuntukkan:

(1) Tertakluk kepada hukum syarak, mahkamah boleh memerintahkan seseorang lelaki membayar nafkah kepada isteri atau bekas isterinya

(2) Tertakluk kepada hukum syarak dan pengesahan mahkamah, seseorang isteri tidaklah berhak mendapat nafkah apabila dia nusyuz atau enggan dengan tidak berpatutan menurut kemahuan atau perintah sah suaminya, iaitu antara lain apabila dia menjauhkan dirinya daripada suaminya; meninggalkan rumah suaminya bertentangan dengan kemahuan suaminya; enggan berpindah bersama suaminya ke satu rumah atau tempat lain tanpa apa-apa sebab yang sah mengikut hukum syarak.

3) Perhubungan suami isteri.

Firman Allah yang bermaksud: "Isteri kamu adalah sebagai kebun tanaman kamu, oleh itu datangilah kebun tanaman kamu menurut cara yang disukai dan sediakanlah amal yang baik untuk diri kamu; dan bertakwalah kepada Allah serta ketahuilah sesungguhnya kamu akan menemui-Nya pada hari akhirat kelak. Dan berikanlah khabar gembira kepada orang yang beriman." (Surah al-Baqarah, ayat 223)

4) Perlindungan daripada gangguan/penderaan.

Seksyen 52 Akta Undang-Undang Keluarga Islam (Wilayah Persekutuan) 1984 memperuntukkan: Seseorang perempuan yang berkahwin mengikut hukum syarak adalah berhak untuk mendapat suatu perintah membubarkan perkahwinan atas satu atau lebih alasan berikut, bahawa suami menganiayainya, lazim menyakiti atau menjadikan kehidupannya menderita disebabkan kelakuan aniaya, berkawan dengan perempuan jahat atau hidup berperangai keji mengikut pandangan hukum syarak atau cuba memaksa
isteri hidup secara lucah.

Seksyen 107 Akta Undang-Undang Keluarga Islam (Wilayah Persekutuan) 1984 memperuntukkan: Mahkamah berkuasa dalam masa perbicaraan hal ehwal suami isteri masih belum selesai atau pada atau selepas pemberian sesuatu perintah perceraian, fasakh, atau pembatalan, memerintahkan seseorang menahan dirinya dari mengganggu atau menceroboh dengan apa carapun ke atas suami atau isteri atau bekas suami atau bekas isterinya.

5) Keadilan.

Seksyen 128 Akta Undang-Undang Keluarga Islam (Wilayah Persekutuan) 1984 memperuntukkan: Seseorang yang tidak memberi keadilan sewajar kepada isterinya mengikut hukum syarak adalah melakukan suatu kesalahan dan hendaklah dihukum denda tidak melebihi RM1,000 atau penjara tidak melebihi 6 bulan atau kedua-duanya.

6) Membubarkan perkahwinan. Seseorang wanita berhak memohon perceraian dalam beberapa keadaan yang dibenarkan oleh hukum syarak dan diperuntukkan oleh Undang-Undang Keluarga Islam iaitu perceraian dengan talak atau dengan perintah, khuluk atau tebus talak, taklik atau janji, fasakh dan lian.

7) Memiliki harta.

8) Layanan baik dan bimbingan.

Sabda Rasulullah SAW yang bermaksud: "Berpesanlah kamu terhadap berbuat baik kepada perempuan, kerana sesungguhnya perempuan ini dijadikan dari tulang rusuk yang bengkok.

Sekiranya engkau cuba membetulkannya, ia akan patah, sekiranya engkau membiarkannya, dia akan terus bengkok." (Hadis riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim).


Jawapan disediakan peguam cara dan peguam bela, Sazira Abdul Aziz, AJK Wanita JIM Muar. Persoalan lalu boleh dilayari di www.bicarakalbu.blogspot.com.

Kenyataan Akhbar Peguam Kes Kalimah `Allah

Kenyataan Akhbar Peguam Kes Kalimah 'Allah'


1. Majlis Agama Islam dan Adat Melayu Perak dan Majlis Agama Islam Wilayah Persekutuan yang masing-masing telah memfailkan permohonan untuk mendapatkan kebenaran-kebenaran untuk mencelah di dalam kes yang difailkan oleh Titular Roman Catholic Church ( " Gereja tersebut " ) bagi semakan kehakiman dan deklarasi hak-hak lain sebagaimana berikut :

a) penggunaan kalimah 'Allah' dalam penerbitan buletin Gereja tersebut 'Herald-The Catholic /weekly';
b) mencabar Garis Panduan yang dikeluarkan oleh Kerajaan Malaysia melalui Akta Media Cetak dan Penerbitan 1984 yang melarang penggunaan kalimah 'Allah', dan
c) kalimah 'Allah' tidak eksklusif untuk Agama Islam.

2. Akibat daripada keputusan semakan kehakiman / deklarasi hak-hak tersebut ialah :-

i) Membenarkan Gereja tersebut untuk menggunakan kalimah 'Allah' di dalam penerbitan buletin Gereja tersebut 'Herald-The Catholic Weekly';
ii) membenarkanGereja tersebut mandapatkan hak menggunakan kalimah 'Allah',
iii) menyebabkan timbul kekeliruan di dalam beragama yang boleh mengancam keselamatan, keamanan dan keharmonian masyarakat awam dan komuniti Islam.

3. Permohonan mencelah oleh Majlis Agama Islam negeri-negeri adalah wajar untuk mengelakkan sebarang kekeliruan di dalam beragama akibat daripada penggunaan kalimah 'Allah', yang mana boleh mengancam keselamatan, keamanan dan keharmonian masyarakat awam serta meyebabkan sensitiviti agama.

4. Majlis Agama Islam negeri-negeri ini adalah bertanggungjawab untuk memastikan perlindungan kepada integriti kalimah 'Allah' yang menjadi teras kepercayaan (Tauhid) orang Islam. Konsep Allah ( konsep ketuhanan ) sebagaimana difahami, diamalkan dan dipraktikkan oleh komuniti Islam di Malaysia secara totalnya jauh berbeza dan terpisah daripada apa yang difahami oleh Gereja tersebut sama ada dari segi konsep, budaya mahupun teologi.

5. Justeru, adalah menjadi asas utama bagi kedua-dua Majlis Agama Islam negeri-negeri ini untuk mencelah bila mana hak-hak dan kepentingan-kepentingan orang Islam terjejas.

6. Oleh yang demikian, mencabar integriti kalimah 'Allah' telah menggugat kepercayaan Orang Islam dari peringkat akar umbi dan melangkaui maksud permohonan penggunaan kalimah 'Allah' yang merujuk kepada istilah "god"
(Tuhan) sebagaimana difahami oleh Gereja tersebut.

Tn Hj Zainul Rijal Abu Bakar
Peguamcara bagi
Majlis Agama Islam dan Adat Melayu Perak
Majlis Agama Islam Wilayah Persekutuan

http://jasa-my.org/v2/

Some Muslims in U.S. quietly engage in Polygamy

Some Muslims in U.S. Quietly Engage in Polygamy
by Barbara Bradley Hagerty

Listen Now [7 min 53 sec] add to playlist

This is part 1 of a two-part report.


All Things Considered, May 27, 2008 · Although polygamy is illegal in the U.S. and most mosques try to discourage plural marriages, some Muslim men in America have quietly married multiple wives.

No one knows how many Muslims in the U.S. live in polygamous families. But according to academics researching the issue, estimates range from 50,000 to 100,000 people.

You can see some of the women involved in polygamous marriages in the lobby of Sanctuary for Families, a nonprofit women's center in New York City. It bursts with color as a dozen women in bright African dresses and head wraps gather for a weekly noon meeting for West African immigrants. The women come each week to this support group where they discuss hard issues, such as domestic abuse, medical problems, immigration hurdles and polygamy.

Polygamy is freely practiced in parts of Africa, and almost every one of the women in the group has experienced polygamy firsthand – either as a wife in a plural marriage or having been raised in families with one father who has two or more wives.

Group member Sarah says that in her native Guinea, the husband springs it on his wife that he's going to marry someone else. Sarah, like the others interviewed for this story, would give only her first name.

"Sometimes he say, 'OK, I am going to be married tomorrow,' or 'I'm going to be married today.' He's going ask you like that. It happened to me," she says.

Sarah begins to cry. Others nod in sympathy. These women are all Muslim. The Koran states that men may marry up to four women. The Prophet Mohammad had multiple wives.

But there's a restriction, says Sally, another group member. The husband cannot favor one woman over another – with his wealth or his heart.

"You have to love them the same way, share everything the same way, equally," says Sally. "Nobody can do that. It's impossible."

Invisible Lives

Still, Muslims practice polygamy in the U.S., despite state laws prohibiting it.

Here's how a man gets around the laws: He marries one woman under civil law, and then marries one, two or three others in religious ceremonies that are not recognized by the state. In other cases, men marry women in both America and abroad.

Many women keep quiet for fear of retribution or deportation.

For example, Sally's husband moved to the United States from the Ivory Coast before she did. When Sally joined him, she found he had married someone else in America. But without legal immigration papers, she didn't dare come forward and report him to the authorities.

She said when she arrived in the U.S., her husband and his new wife put her in the basement.

"They told me to cook, clean, do everything. I didn't speak English. And he told me, 'Don't say nothing. You say something, she's going make you deported. And me, I'm going to be in jail.'"

Eventually, Sally left the house with her children, and now works at a hair braiding salon. But that fear of deportation prevents many from leaving their polygamous relationships.

"Legally, they're invisible," says Julie Dinnerstein, a senior attorney for Sanctuary for Families. "If you are the second or third or fourth wife, that marital relationship is not going to be recognized for immigration purposes. It means if your husband is a citizen or green card holder, he can't sponsor you. It means if your husband gets asylum, you don't get asylum at the same time. The man is always going to be in a position of greater power."

Secret Ceremonies

In the past decade, Muslim clerics began to notice that some men who wanted a religious wedding were already married to someone else.

According to Daisy Khan, who heads the American Society for Muslim Advancement and is married to an imam, polygamy is more common among conservative, less educated immigrants from Africa and Asia. It is rarer among middle-class Muslims from the Middle East. She adds that nowadays, imams do background checks on the grooms to make sure they're not already married in their home countries.

Some clerics in the U.S. perform second marriage ceremonies in secret.

Khan, who does pre-marriage counseling, says she always raises the issue of polygamy with engaged couples.

"I also explain to them that as a woman, you have certain rights, and as a man, he may one day exercise his right to have a second wife," Khan says. "And usually the man says, 'No, no, no. I'm never going to do that.' And I say, 'Well, in case you ever get tempted, how about we put that in the contract?'"

For Others, a Blessing

Abed Awad, a family law attorney in New Jersey, says for many Muslim men, multiple wives means many children — which is considered a blessing in Islam. And since Islam allows for sexual relations only in marriage, polygamy legitimizes the relationship in God's eyes.

"You're actually responsible for that person as your spouse," Awad says. "And the sexual relationship becomes a relationship of love and companionship as opposed to just a sexual fling."

Awad stresses he does not condone polygamy. But he says there can also be advantages for some women — particularly those who are divorced or widowed.

Mona, a Palestinian woman with six children from her first marriage, is happy to be a second wife. When Mona got divorced in 1990, she became a pariah in her conservative Muslim community in Patterson, N.J.

"When ladies divorce," she says, "the people look down on her — looking to her like [she's] second class."

Then 14 years ago, a man approached her to be his second wife. She resisted at first but then grew to admire him and agreed to become his wife. She says her problems evaporated.

"When I married the second husband, everybody's OK," she says, smiling. "If I go anywhere, I'm free, nobody talks, because I have a husband."

He provides for both of his families, and he divides time between the two homes. Mona says the first wife was initially angry, but she got used to it.

"What is the problem? If he is not happy with the first marriage, why he stay all the life like this? You know, my religion is good because it gives man and woman another chance to be happy."

NPR is not revealing Mona's last name, and her husband would not be interviewed for this story. Her husband could be charged with bigamy.

'One Is Enough'

At Mam African Hair Braiding salon in Queens, N.Y., husbands are often the topic of conversation.

As the Senegalese owner, Miriam Dougrou, weaves cornrows on a young woman, she says that her father married four women and she had 19 or 20 siblings. She lost count. So did her father.

"Sometimes he doesn't know who's who, and he forget the name" of his children and wives, she said.

"He calls them No. 1 and No. 2," says Dougrou's husband, Timothy.

Miriam Dougrou does not want Timothy to have a second wife. "Sometime he talked about it — like a joke. But I told him, 'I'm not joking. Don't tease me because I won't be a second wife. I'm going to be the first and last wife.'"

So does Timothy, who's sitting in the corner keeping awfully quiet, want a second wife?

"No," he says with a half smile. "One is enough for me."



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`A woman admires a man if he has the strength to control his emotions and the sensitivity to respectfully consider her point of view as a valid perspective' - Mars and Venus Together Forever